30th Annual American Music Awards

Welcome to Digital Hit's commentary on the 30th Annual American Music Awards. The 30th edition of Dick Clark's music kudofest is being hosted by the Osbourne family, so strap on your seatbelts.

The evening started with a duet of Tiny Dancer performed by Tim McGraw and Elton John. After their performance, which received a standing ovation, the Osbournes came out. Already in the first few minutes the censors hand has been kept busy as they dropped sound on most of what the family was saying. Sharon teased Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake about their break-up while Jack and Kelly went out and sat on their laps. "I'm going to have to take him, Britney. He's all mine," Sharon Osbourne said. Finally, the first award of the night was handed out, as Lenny Kravitz presented Sheryl Crow with the Pop/Rock Favorite Female Artist.

The Goo Goo Dolls' Johnny Resnick and Paula Abdul were out next to present the award for Hip-Hop/R&B Favorite New Artist to Ashanti.

After a performance by Matchbox 20, Beyonce Knowles and her younger sister, Solange, came out to present the first country award of the night, Favorite Female Artist, which was by Martina McBride. She thanked her husband for staying at home with the kids so that she could fly out to LA to attend the awards.

Next out to present, we have Ozzy's former neighbor Pat Boone, Kellie Coffie and Canada's own Carolyn Dawn Johnson. They were presenting the award for Contemporary Inspirational to Avalon. They of course thanked Jesus and their fans.

David Spade was out next. He joked that he saw Bobbie Brown backstage and that he was running off to drop Whitney off at sweat school. He then introduced a performance by Christina Aguilera by saying, "Here she is for the first time in public with her clothes on, Christina Aguilera!" She sang two songs, "Impossible" and "Beautiful", and reminded us that she can sing circles around fellow ex-Musketeer Britney. She was joined on piano by former 4 Non Blondes leader and Pink collaborator Linda Perry. It was great to see Christina tackle a couple of ballads and not go for the obvious T&A ratings grabber "Dirrty".

Rockers Three Doors Down were out next to present Country - Favorite New Artist. The winner was Carolyn Dawn Johnson, who couldn't believe she could go from viewing the AMA's to accepting one.

Josh Groban and Vanessa Carlton were there to hand out the statuette for Best Soundtrack. The winner of that AMA was the soundtrack from Spider-Man. The soundtrack's producer was joined on stage by two of the artists, Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott.

Justin Timberlake and Sharon Osbourne then presented the American Music Award for Pop/Rock - Favorite Band, Duo or Group. Sharon opened the envelope and announced the winner was Creed before they announced who the other nominees were.

Another performance, this time B2K and their hit "Bump, Bump, Bump". Zzz...somebody wake me up after that performance.

Well, the wake-up call came in the form of Carmen Electra's dress. She was there to present Hip-Hop/R&B - Band, Duo or Group along with Nelly. The award was won by OutKast.

Next up was Britney Spears (who shopped at the same store as Electra by the looks of it) to introduce a performance by Shania Twain. I liked Shania's last album, but this one is making me snore. She took the Up! title literally, climbing a big metal staircase up to the balcony audience.

Reba McEntire was there to introduce a tape of former US President George Bush, George Strait and Richard Petty, who were all paying tribute to country group Alabama and their Award of Merit.

Our next presenter: Shaggy. He intro'd a look back at 30 years of AMA history. He then introduced the next performance by Nickelback.

LeAnn Rimes, Tyrese and JC Chasez then came out to explain how the awards worked and then presented the award for Hip-Hop/R&B - Favorite Album to Eminem's The Eminem Show. The award was accepted by Eminem's 8 Mile co-star Mekhi Phifer, who passed on Eminem's comments via cell phone.

Sharon Osbourne, in fine swearing form, said how much she loved the next performance and her great "boob job." (Hey, her words, not mine.) The performer: Mariah Carey, who sang "Through The Rain".

TV stars George Lopez and Jenny Garth were on hand to present the award for Country - Favorite Band, Duo Or Group. The Dixie Chicks (who also won last night's PCA's) took home the AMA for that category.

The Osbournes are doing a really awful job hosting the telecast. Okay, with that out of the way, it's time to have Saliva come out to present Pop/Rock - Favorite New Artist to Ashanti.

Steve Harvey then introduced another clip montage of the past 30 years. He then introduced Damon Wayans who was on hand to introduce a performance by Ja Rule and Bobbie Brown.

Lonestar then presented the Country - Favorite Album to the Dixie Chicks.

After announcing that Madonna won the internet-voted Michael Jackson International Artist of the Year (as opposed to the Michael Jackson Dangling Baby From A Balcony Award), Melissa Joan Hart inro'd a performance by Kenny Chesney.

R&B'ers Dru Hill sang a little harmony and then presented the Hip-Hop/R&B - Favorite Female Artist to Mary J. Blige.

Kathy Griffin and American Idol doofus Ryan Seacrest then presented the Internet-voted Fan's Choice Award to Nelly.

One touching moment: Ozzy sitting on the stairs watching his daughter Kelly perform "Shut Up." Ozzy and Sharon then introduced Darryl Hall, John Oates and Heidi Klum. Hall joked they should form a band called "Hall & Oates & Klum", while Joan Oates thought that sounded like an accounting firm. All of that, of course, was just a clumsy segue for Klum to explain the voting procedures. The trio then presented Pop/Rock - Favorite Album to The Eminem Show. Eminem wasn't there to accept.

After a performance by Missy Elliott introduced by Tisha Campbell-Martin and Big Boy, Busta Rhymes presented Hip-Hop/R&B - Favorite Male Artist to Eminem...he's having a good night.

Another round of video clips and then Mya and Common introduced the winners of the Coca-Cola New Music Award, Moe Loughran.

Tim McGraw won the the Country - Favorite Male Artist award, presented by Jo Dee Messina and Martina McBride. Even though he had opened the show, he had to high-tail it back to Nashville so he wasn't there to accept it.

Sheryl Crow, wearing a "War is not the answer" T-Shirt then introduced a performance by two men she said weren't afraid to speak their minds — Toby Keith and Willie Nelson.

Mekhi Phifer and The Bachelorette Trista Rehn were out next to present Pop/Rock - Favorite Male Artist. This award was one by...Eminem. We're lucky he wasn't there tonight. Imagine how much longer the show would have been if he got to make all those acceptance speeches?

Well, that's it. Some of the awards weren't televised. Enrique Iglesias for Latin Artist - Favorite Artist, Creed for Alternative Music - Favorite Artist and Celine Dion for Adult Contemporary - Favorite Artist.

And the nominees are: